Hi, I’ve been thinking about my sexuality recently…

…I have dreams where I want to be romantically and sexually with a girl. I like all parts of female anatomy and would feel comfortable being intimate with a woman. I consider myself straight yet I’m repulsed by male genitalia? Is this normal?

Thanks for asking this!

Who we like, what we find attractive, or what turns us on is very personal and part of what makes us unique! Attraction can be emotional, physical and/or visual.

Sexuality is complicated, and can be confusing!  A person’s sexuality can even change over time.  At Teen Clinic, we encourage youth to define their sexuality however they like. If putting a label on who you’re attracted to is something you want to do, you can do that using common terms (there are many!), or you can even make one up! Just know that there is no right or wrong way to identify – even if that means that you choose not to put a label on it!

Some people may be romantically or sexually attracted to a gender, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they want to be sexually active with that gender. Emotional, physical, and romantic attraction don’t have to align, and they can fluctuate, or be on a spectrum.   There aren’t any rules when it comes to sexuality, and you can do whatever you feel most comfortable with.

Think about whether a sexual label will be helpful to you.  Because sexuality can fluctuate throughout life, your feelings may fit a label clearly one year and not the next. On the other hand, identifying as something can help connect you to friends, communities and resources who will help you explore your feelings in a positive, healthy way.

If you want to learn more about this, here is a great resource that discusses sexuality : http://www.transstudent.org/gender

If you want more resources, and live in the Boulder area consider checking out local groups like Out Boulder, where you can meet others in your shoes and learn more about sexuality in general.