Hi, I think I’m bi but in a way of sexually…

………. like I’m a guy and I like girls in a relationship and sexual way but I could never see myself with a guy in a relationship. But I fantasize about having sex with guys.


Thanks for asking this!

Who we like, what we find attractive, or what turns us on is very personal and part of what makes us unique! Attraction can be emotional, physical and/or visual.

Sexuality is complicated, and can be confusing!  A person’s sexuality can even change over time.  At Teen Clinic, we encourage youth to define their sexuality however they like. If putting a label on who you’re attracted to is something you want to do, you can do that using common terms (there are many!), or you can even make one up! Just know that there is no right or wrong way to identify – even if that means that you choose not to put a label on it!

If you’re feeling confused about your sexuality, consider asking yourself: Who am I attracted to? Who am I sexually active with?  How might I identify (or choose not to identify) myself?

It is absolutely possible to be physically attracted to some genders, but not emotionally attracted to them, and vice versa.  Emotional, physical, and romantic attraction don’t have to align, and they can fluctuate, or be on a spectrum. So what you are feeling or experiencing is completely normal!

Think about whether a sexual label will be helpful to you.  Because sexuality can fluctuate throughout life, your feelings may fit a label clearly one year and not the next. On the other hand, identifying as something can help connect you to friends, communities and resources who will help you explore your feelings in a positive, healthy way.

If you want to learn more about this, here is a great resource that breaks it all down: http://www.transstudent.org/gender

If you want more resources, and live in the Boulder area consider checking out local groups like OASOS and Out Boulder, where you can meet others in your shoes and learn more about sexuality in general.