I’m a 14 year old girl struggling with my sexuality. A guy I used to like three years ago just admitted he wants to be with me since we cuddled last week…

…but I’m having feelings for my girl best friend. The thing is she doesn’t know, and I can’t tell her. I asked her to be there for me, but it seems like she always has something planned or found an excuse not to see me. I don’t know what to do, I don’t think I feel anything for the guy, but I know that my relationship with my best friend is never going to get any further either.

Sexuality is complicated, and can be confusing!  A person’s sexuality can even change over time.  At Teen Clinic, we encourage youth to define their sexuality however they like.

If you’re feeling confused about your sexuality, consider asking yourself: Who am I physically and emotionally attracted to? Who do I want to be sexually active with?  How do I identify myself?

A person may be physically and emotionally attracted to the opposite gender, the same gender , or both genders.  All are perfectly normal! Think about whether a label for your sexual orientation will be helpful to you.  Identifying as bi, gay, or questioning can help connect you to friends, communities and resources who will help you explore your feelings in a positive, healthy way Consider checking out local groups like OASOS Out Boulder, and/or PFLAG. All organizations are youth-friendly and accessible. They provide great social opportunities to meet supportive role models and peers.

OASOS is a weekly peer support group for questioning, queer, intersex, pansexual, transgender, bisexual, lesbian and gay youth. The groups are drop in – so you can attend whenever you feel comfortable. The groups are safe, confidential and free. It’s a great opportunity to meet other LGBTIQ youth, gain support from peers and LGBTIQ adult mentors, and have fun through a variety of different educational and social activities. If you have any other questions about group, please don’t hesitate to call the office (303) 678-6259 or email.

You can also check out a few quality online resources. The Center is a Denver community center that is dedicated to providing support and advocacy for Colorado’s LGBTIQ population. LAMBDA has a page exclusively for youth feeling isolated and ostracized. It’s a comprehensive site with quality, helpful information for LGBTIQ youth. There is also a National Help Center which has peer counseling online or on the phone.

Whatever you do, don’t let yourself feel isolated! There are lots of other youth asking the same questions you are, and lots of adults who want to support you.

You are not alone.

Above all, we encourage you to talk to someone you trust. Reaching out to the people who care about you is an important step of finding support. You can always visit Teen Clinic to talk with our non-judgmental, friendly and caring health care professionals. Know that you have support and resources in the community so you don’t have to go through it alone.